glitter-graphics.com
Hmm in my last note, I humbly talked about the past love that I was still trying to get over. Each time I realize what a HUGE mistake it had been to give my heart to a NON-Christian man. I only stake my issue with this person and no one else. This is the fleshly part of me talking so God and I are going to be doing some talking about this one. A wonderful sister in Christ told me that you only set yourself up for disaster when you become unequally yolked with unbelievers.
That one hit the nail on the head when it was revealed to me. And yes I'm upset right now because so much I tried to accept that what happened was my fault. Now I'm going to sit here and laugh my tail off, not out loud because I"m in the lab and they'd think I was crazy or something and then I'd find it really funny. Sorry, rambling on here.
I have learned this lesson, wow this dude really really really had me. I take back all the credibility I ever gave to this person because I have a huge amount of respect for them. But because I am a Christian I have to put my feelings aside and look at this in the sense of how Jesus would want me to respond to this. This has been something that I've been struggling with for over a year and I keep trying to tell myself that I"m over it but I know there's something else that I wasn't recently until yesterday.
It doesn't hurt so bad anymore, I'm actually laughing really hard inside. I am so joyful in my trials right now, because as they slowly wane, I start to see what God had been telling. This man took my heart, emotions, love. I don't know why I even mention the word man because he's not a man. And it's not about who's better than who but I had a different heart than he did. A heart willing to serve, to love. He had a great girl in his path but was too scared to travel down that road with her but didn't have the heart to be honest with her and tell her how he truly felt. So instead of being honest to himself and to her, he went on as though nothing was wrong, never once tried to see the good himself though I saw it and only wanted the best for Him because that's what Jesus did for me. But he refused, he backed down and I stood up and so he stayed at the starting line never wanting to go down that road. So much credibility I gave to you because I loved you but now I see you for who you are. I've learned my lesson, I wish nothing bad on you but what you did was downright hurtful, betrayal and a liar you are. But it is what it is, things happen. I'm happy God knocked me on the head and I'm able to move past you because I deserve the love that He gives that you'll never match that even you don't have for you but what good is in us, there's nothing good in us because sin corrupted all of that and broke us away from God but because of God's love through Jesus. You know I'll break God's heart many times but I'll go to him crying in repentance and a heavy heart and he forgive, you, I don't know what to say about you.
In the Bridge of RED's song "Let Go.- 'you can't have me anymore." It is what it is. Each lie that has been revealed to me, my heart does not hurt like it used to. At this point I laugh because the wounds don't sting but I wonder if you'll do the same thing to her, you are a human being without the LOVE of God in you.
The point to all of this, I have nothing to hide, you only live once. I'll tell you this much, when you turn away from the LORD, sometimes you end up with some painful reminders but I'm glad that I got it because we as believers count every bad thing to the good of the perfect will of God.
I now know that there is NO man on this planet that will ever or come close to the love that God has for His children. So much lies and deceit out there in the world, people turning themselves away from God's truth because it doesn't suit them. When has life ever suited us? We get everything that we want and still we're not happy, we want more and more and it's still never enough. The world's view about love is you give to me and I keep taking and taking, sorry there's nothing for me to give to you, next please. Exactly what happened with my ex, I gave and gave, it's one thing if you can't stand the person you're with but if you're with someone who truly cares about you and respects you, have the decency in you to return the favor and not waste that person's time or be a hypocrite about it all.
This world and it's hypocrisy and idolatry in all the wrong things and we wonder why the world is going to s@@t. It's called sin and the punishment for it is death. Simple as that but I got smart and I got my heart straightened out, I'm not spending my eternity in hell, no way, no thanks. I'd rather deal with all the bad stuff on this planet than spend the rest of my life there. People say there's no such thing as God, the devil or demons, all I got to say is, whoever has this belief, you are being lied to big time, like reallly really bad. And quit being a sucka about turning your life over to Christ and every every TRUE believer that is, because we've got some fake ones but God will take care of those. Every true believer can attest that there is nothing better than the Peace, Love, Grace, and Mercy of God that He freely gives. And when you realize that you have Jesus and the Holy Spirit all on your side working for your good and God perfecting your faith, there is nothing in the world that can buy that joy that comes so freely. Because the LORD and Savior that builds our faith and causes us to grow and gives His insight, gave Himself a ransom for all of us. Isaiah 53, talks about the servant of the LORD. Jesus has been talked about since the beginning of time. If God didn't love us, none of us would be alive right now.
I'm going to go fall in love with Jesus and maybe someday God will send the RIGHT man that loves Jesus has much as I do. This guy may have broken my heart but he sure didn't break me. God broke me for my sin but it's counted His glory because I'm still standing because of Him as I continue to grow with him. I'm still learning that God does not like to be second (he really doesn't) in the lives of his children and He does a very good job reminding us of that and by His wisdom and mercy, He reveals Himself to me through hisWword. As the main theme in Psalms 130, my soul waits on the LORD. I'm a earthly being, I"m going to forget this and fall on my butt a few times but by His grace, I'll get through it. I'll get stronger because of His love that never fails. I take great joy knowing that no man can hurt me or God's children cause you're going to have to answer to him. I'm spending my eternity with the LORD, I wish everyone could see the truths that I see in the LORD and why they're not, I don't know, only God knows that one.
I have fallen so in love with God and all because I wanted to know more about Jesus and then the magnitude of it all hits me. I cried in church when we were singing "The Power of the Cross" hymn. I haven't cried in a while and it's hard to get me to cry but I teared up over that hymn because I finally realized the magnificence of God's Ultimate Sacrifice of Love, for me, for all of us, terribly undeserving of it we are but knowing that I have someone that loves me that much. NO matter how many people come into my life that hurt me in more ways that words cannot describe, He has always been there, He will always be there, His Majesty, He's Sovereign! He's God! and we were made after His image (not the angels, not the animals, and again not the angels) but after Him! Him! How awesome is that! His truth is so simple, everywhere He reveals himself to us. I'm sorry, that's the kind of God that I'd rather love and give my life over to. A God that can move mountains, all the animals know exactly what they are to do and This Almighty God that created the world, ohhh yeah and is the Ultimate Embodiment of Love. I'm not sorry to be a Christian, I'm greatly overjoyed knowing that that God called me to him. Not idols who can't speak, breathe, hear, or made by man; who could care less about your foot getting chopped off, your best friend dying, you losing her job, all of life's woes.
I can't wait for that Homecoming Day when I see Jesus in all of His Glory and all the saints there and all of God's children, my heart's bout ready to jump out of my chest thinking about all of this. I am not ashamed to be a Christian, you can't take away the joy that the LORD brings. In CHrist Alone I Trust, That's my God. He knows more about me that I"ll ever know about myself and I tell you, when you are in His body (church) instantaneous you know He's there because everyone else that you meet feels the same way that you do. I'm going back to do my homework.
What started as a rambling about my terrible (secretive) lying ex became my declaration of God's Love because His Love is PERFECT and the BEST and nothing else can replace.
No comments:
Post a Comment