The Race Card 2

I don't know how many of you read this article: Poll: Racial views steer some white Dems away from Obama You can find the article on Yahoo. I freaking swear it's so freaking hard to be a black person in this country and not have some white person looking down at us like we're nothing. Hell we'd try freaking harder if yawl would stop cutting programs, you know what, screw the programs. This whole BS about us being on welfare, being complaining, and lazy, yawl wouldn't have this country if it weren't for black people and yawl wanna call us lazy. Stripping us from our home lands, tearing up our communities for centuries and you wanna tell us to try harder, to stop complaining. Why don't you give us our family back.

HOw the hell can you live with yourselves for lynching our people for the fact that we have colored skinned. You brought your diseases to Africa to wipe us out. Africa is starving because of you people. Freaking Arnold the Terminator, yawl voted him into office and this dude had no political skills. Yawl voted Jessie Ventura for governor in Montana and the dude was a pro wrestler. Obama spent his whole life in politics because he wanted to make change. His wife graduated from Harvard, half of us don't even have the IQ to get accepted into Harvard, but no because yawl ignorant asses, because he's black, he's not good. Get your freaking head out of your ass and wake up. Aint nobody on this damn continent own the right to this land. Yawl descendants from Irish and Scottish background, they had to fight for their independence too from Britain. Yawl went through that same mess. Yawl coming over here, killing off the Indians for your greedy selves. That's why this economy is failing. And yawl say black people need to try harder, stop being all about me, myself and I, there's no damn community in this country, why do you think obesity is such a problem, Americans aren't happy, because yawl are greedy and competing with each other. You wanna say we need to try harder.

This country would be nothing without us, you get your entertainment from us. Yawl can't do half the stuff that we do, we're amazing athletes, we're amazing cooks, we're amazing musicians and we sure as hell can dance better than yawl. Ignorant, letting the media rule your decisions because you can't get your sorry asses off your coaches and go be a good neighbor but because I"m black, I have to sit around and let you disgrace me. I don't know who the hell you think you are but you don't own this country. All you KKK's, yawl wanna hate on blacks but you can't destroy our spirits. You can try to bring us down as much as you want because you're close minded. You don't have our spirits, you've never had to fight for anything, you don't know the meaning of what it's like to have something, just because you're white, it's expected to be handed down to you. Ooh yawl make me ashamed to be an American. This melting pot of a great nation, ooh yawl some ignorant. Yawl need to look in the mirror and check yourselves and go take a damn vacation to somewhere else in the world. Why don't you go to Sudan, Darfur, Chehnya, did you guys forget the crisis in Kosovo, did you forget the Serbian massacre of the Arabs in 1995. You people that harbor this attitude made me sick. Yawl need to get your hearts right and your head too.

My freaking WOW, the first time a black man is going to run for Presidency, you'd think a whole nation would be proud and stand up for one of its own. to show to the world that this is what we've been able to achieve in the 40 years that Civil Rights where granted to all people of other origins. Don't forget this too all you Asian People, Latino's, and those of you not White. It was a little over 40 years that we got freedoms in this country, 40 years ago. So yawl running to back McCain because he's a Republican, maybe yawl need to check the color of your skin too. Apparantly Asians forgot what injustices they had to deal with on the West Coast. Remember WWII, the Japanese Internment camps. Did you guys forget that HItler got his idea of the concentration camps from us. White people aint got a damn thing to be proud of your history, you SHOULD be ashamed of yourselves. And you tolerate the ideology of superiority. Aint no man, thing or being in this Universe greater than the Almighty God. You know who you are and don't think the good LORD doesn't know what's in your hearts. Black people know how to survive.

Damn, yawl get mad at the music that's degrading women, BAN the thing, stop talking about it to your friends, ban the Rolling Stones too while you're at it. Oh and PLLLLLEEEEAAASSSE stop copying us and paroding us in your movies, copying our slang, trying to be cool, taking our moves. It's not cute and you're not cool, you embarrass me and you insult me. Some of you black people share this same ideology, what the hell are you smoking or even thinking. I'm sorry I don't agree with half the crap my people do but damn I still love my people. Stop sitting there and dogging us and stop being about yourselves. Oh let's see, hmm when we do start doing better, what you're going to jump on our bandwagon and be like ooh oohh I was there to support this. I am so sick to be an American right now, my family busted our asses to get our citizenship and this is the reward that we get.

Maybe we need to read Abraham Lincoln "Gettysburg Address." I swear I don't know why i like white guys sometimes, I really don't know and this crap only makes me that much angry but I"m going to voice my opinion and let it be known that yawl aint right for this at all. And all of you from other countries, your poor countries too with no running or clean drinking water, don't get me started on you. Everybody that's in this country came here wants a better future, a better life than the one that they had before. You ask any foreigner that and you wanna judge me because I have black skin. I love my black skin, I love the fact that I can stay out in the sun, hell no I"m doing it but I'm just saying I can and I don't really have to tan. I love my blackness, black is beauty, black is sexy, we are courageous, we are fighters, we are resilient. Yawl hate if you want, we aint going nowhere, we'll be right behind you and you sure as hell don't want to piss us off. As Madea would say, don't make a black woman take off her earrings, I took mine off when I wrote this. I'm this angry, I'm surprised I didn't start typing the Jamaican language. America aint nothing without us, keep on hating, keep supplying your drugs that you try to destroy our communities, we'll bounce back. We've been doing it for centuries, yawl aint nothing without us, so keep hating. I'm going to bed, yawl don't make me wanna punch a hole in the wall. Yawl wrong for this!!!

The Race Card

None of the views that I express is meant to offend anyone. This is just me venting and writing about what I see around me.





I'm kinda mad right now but I'll get over it. Maybe it's cause I live in San Francisco this should be nothing new to me, but I don't know how many times I can look down the street from a block or two away and I won't see a black person in sight. It's kinda scary sometimes, that Rockwell song pops in my head, "I always feel like someone's watching me." Nah really but I'm sure that's happened. It's sad that there's not a good cultural mix of African American folks in this city, we've been dispersed outside of the city. I find it very disturbing when someone asks me where's all the black people and I get the answer, they live in Oakland. That's not a laughing matter, that's really scary when you think about it. Despite this whole task force thing that Mayor Gavin Newsom has set up to try to get us to stay. San Francisco is not a city for black people, this city only caters to you if you're Asian or White. It's like you have to fight to break down the stereotypes.

Damn just because I'm black, that stereotype is automatically there, but I'm Jamaican so I don't count. I don't like hearing the N word coming out of anybody's mouth. I'm not from San Francisco and I'm not ghetto. I like hyphy music but I don't live the lifestyle. It makes me sad too when I see all these girls with babies everywhere, don't get me wrong I love kids and all but who gives you or anyone else the right to stereotype us just because you see a sista with a kid or two on her arm. Men are men and women are women, take the race factor out of it and the generalities out. Mind I can't stand half the words that come out of some of these girls mouth but you have asian girls and latino girls and white girls that are just like that, so don't put that label on us.

Don't get me started on black men, I've never dated a black guy, I don't have anything against black guys, it's just not my preference. It's like you're never good enough if you're a black person, somewhere someone is always talking about you, wanting what you have or they don't want you to end up with nothing. Are you serious, as open-minded as we are in the 21st century, there is a lot of ignorance out there. I've never been tough enough to hang out with the black kids at school and they all talked smack about me because I was different and I didn't fit in. It's weird I'm from one of the states that dealt with the most racism, Virginia, and I've never had issues with my race until I came to San Francisco.

You're probably thinking how can that be since I"m living in one of the most liberal cities in the nation, but look around you, you'll see it. The worse is when you're a hard working black woman, with goals, morals, a good heart and you only strive to bring out the best in people. But because of my skin color, I'm inferior. WTF why can't I get a white guy that likes me for me. I'm sorry I'm not going to sashay around like these some of these Asian chicks who have nothing better to do than go with a white guy to look like their important. Every damn white dude you see around here has some Asian chick at his hip and she aint even cute. Those Asian chicks who swear up and down that they're cute, yawl aint nothing but copy cats, wannabe white girls. That's all you see in San Francisco, Asian girls jocking white dudes who don't know any better.

That's just me venting because my ex left my ass for some Asian girl and she aint even cute. Ooh I could kick him from here to Jupiter (and I'm laughing as I picture this happening.) He still hasn't fess up to it but I know and it's just funny to me now because he's so fake and I'm calling him out. Gosh those guys that put up this whole facade thinking just because he knows a little urban history, he's set. Mind you I was impressed but I figured it all out later and it's hilarious because I know who still has their integrity in tact. Thinking about some of the stuff that dude did to me, talk about psychological warfare but he's not the only hottie around. He's so ugly to me now because his personality is just dirty and wicked. But because the color of my skin wasn't good enough, I'm inferior. I didn't fit the stereotype, I have a degree, I'm actually smart with a good head on my shoulder.

I'm not racist, I'm just pissed off with this whole thing. That's the problem with interracial couples, if you're a black girl with a white dude, people turn their heads and they're like WTF, if you're white girl with a black dude, it's whatever. And the worse is if you're with a respectable guy, those same Asian girls and white girls probably talking smack right behind your back. You just can't win being a upstanding black woman in today's society. Aahh, it's so not fair but I'm sure I'll find my white guy. I'm not staying in San Francisco for long becaue this city does not cater to black folks, just walk around and observe for ten minutes and you'll what I'm talking about. Again if you get offended by this, sorry, I'm pissed off too. I just had to vent, I should be at church but I'm mad about that too.




Updated:

I'm officially not mad, the sun is shining and I had some milk and cookies, I'm straight. I'm not mad at my ex's girl, as long as he treats her good and she's happy, all the more reasons that I wish both of them the best. No I didn't have time to think about all of this so I have no regrets. I got no beefs against anyone of a different race, I like white guys, asian guys, it's not what's on the outside. It's what's on the inside. So everybody, just spread the love, we could all use a little more love.

How to Really Get Over Your Ex

I just drank the tartest kind of cranberry juice there is, wow it was tart! Okay so I"m writing this blog just to offer my own little advice. So when your ex doesn't want to give you closure, a part of you just doesn't want to take the next step. But I've gotten tired of waiting for this to happen so I got a little upset with myself and henceforth I"m finding my own closure and moving on past this experience. Maybe, I hope this can help someone.

The first thing that you have to do to get over your ex is to forgive him/her. You have to, if you don't bitterness and hate will linger in your heart and you'll bring that to the next guy. That's what you call baggage. There's a part of you that's going to fight this war of good vs. evil in regards to how you resolve this matter. I've always told myself and my friends, you are doing a huge disservice to a guy/girl who is truly head over heels for you but because you haven't resolved theses issues, you're missing out on the tremendous joy that you could be experiencing with that person. You can forgive someone although you'll probably never forget the experience, but you have to forgive that person and you'll feel better about it. They might be happy as a horse and you're as miserable as the wind blowing outside. Not only do you have to forgive the person that broke your heart but you have to forgive yourself too. Some of us jump into situations that you never expected the outcome to be what you thought. And then you tell yourself, why did I do this? I wish I didn't do that? Everything happens for a reason. Some things we are guilty of that we saw the signs but were so madly in love that you threw caution to the wind. Don't be so hard on yourself and learn to let it go. If it doesn't kill you, it really does make you stronger.

The second thing burn, destroy, rip up and get rid of everything that you have of that person, throw it out. Don't keep nothing of that person around, it'll only bring the memories back. That whole thing about writing a letter to your ex and then ripping it up, doesn't work, well for some it works for others it might not. If you can carefully burn anything that you wrote about that person that you're holding onto. Something about fire, maybe it's the idea of refining; fire has this cleansing element minus the fact that your house will smell like smoke and your eyes will burn like mad but it's all worth it. It really helps when you do this but like I said in a controlled environment and don't burn the house down please.

The third thing, everything that you ever wanted to vent to your ex and lash out at him for, don't ever tell him. I'm sure he/she can sense these feelings; the whole your ears feeling hot, yeah someone's mad at you. For those of you trying to get closure from an ex, this greatly applies here because you know very well that you still want to talk to him, see how he's doing, what is he like without you in his life. You burn a major bridge when you do this thus further hindering your chances of getting that closure you seek. This will also strengthen your character and help you to deal with other adversities if you are able to get your feelings under control about this person that has caused you a great deal of pain.

The fourth thing, it is perfectly okay to dream about that person, wish that you guys were still back together. There's nothing that you can do to control your subconscious, no one expects you to get over this person overnight. It is going to be very hard to establish a new routine without this person so don't deny to yourself that you don't care about this person. You are lying and thinking less of you because you are not realizing what prize you brought to the relationship. Find out what made this relationship so joyful for you that others before him didn't give you. Instead of thinking about all the wonderful things that you did together, think about the joy that you brought to this person, the joy that you felt. That you allowed yourself to be loved and to share that with someone else. You dedicated a significant amount of your time that you wanted to spend with this person. You had no regrets going into it with this person, don't have any when you leave.

The fifth thing, all the good stuff that you remembered about your ex, use it as a teaching tool to show you how to love again because breakups always make you turn into a hermit, either an extroverted one or an introverted one, either way you're still a hermit. I've read up on why it is that your ex appears in your dreams and it's not that you want to be with your ex, you want to experience that joy again but not with that same person. You'd have to be foolish to let the same shark bite you twice. If you think about it long enough, you'll realize who was the driving force behind the relationship. Who was the good moral one that sought to bring out the best in the other person. I don't know how guys deal with breakups but my ex found himself another girl in no time and lied straight to my face.

The sixth thing, don't ever fall for a pretty face. Ooh they are the worse, when an attractive man/woman is iffy about something pertaining to the two of you. Don't wait around and tell him "it's okay", "that's fine", I don't have a problem with that, get the hell out of there now. Those small little tolerances that you put up with from him/her. Like Keyshia Cole said in her song "Let It Go," it's not where he's at, it's where he wants to be. Sometimes you hear the news that you don't want to hear, the kind that just suckapunches you in the gut like really hard. So what do you do, just suck it up and absorb the blunt of the force. If you want the pain to go away it, it will and you gotta get annoyed with it lingering and bugging you like that. Ladies and gentlemen, this is why I strongly reiterate that you forgive this person because the next time he/she looks at you, they are going to know that they missed out on a good thing. when you can look at him/her and offer an handshake, he/she know that they have no power over you.

The seventh thing, find someone to talk to about your ex even if you've told them seventy thousand times and you keep talking about it, eventually you'll get sick of hearing yourself talking about this person. As my mom always tells me, you've got to look out for you. And if he/she couldn't treat you the way that you should be treated, it was not worth it, everyone deserves equal respect, why are you wasting your time if you can't follow this simple rule. Also, if the relationship ended before you two got married, be grateful it ended now than years later down the road when yawl have kids and hear comes the nasty divorce and more pain for you to bear. When a man/woman truly loves you, they don't have to put up any pretenses, they tell you like it is and they respect you. The keyword, RESPECT.

The eight thing, if you've been heart broken really bad and no one's around to help you, you've got to dedicate time to yourself to piece you back together. You add more salt to the burn when you jump into another relationship because you've starting a downward spiral and pretty soon you become this person that you don't even know and you'll be blaming somebody else for all of your troubles. Prayer is a powerful tool, I prayed many nights and cried to God to let me get over this man. You think of the pain, the sword piercing cut that makes you feel like your heart's been bleeding for days. That pain you have to turn over to God and not let the devil catch you off guard. Hide, cry, spend time with yourself, ask those why questions, why did it happen to me? Keep praying to God and spend some time with him, I could do a lot more of that myself. Give yourself time to properly heal and your heart will tell you when you are ready for something new. You're constantly learning new things as you go so give it time.

The ninth thing, after you've done crying, get your butt out of bed and go do something. For me, I went back to writing, unfortunately I don't have any girlfriends to go out dancing to the clubs with so I went by myself. Get out, find out what's going on in the world. Find a hobby and if you can't find one, invent one and don't tell your parents about your man/woman troubles. I'm sorry but this is one of those situations where you gotta man up and handle it with God. You've got to fight this battle for you and you've got to look in the mirror and realize the person that you are and who God made you to be. I always tell my friends when they're feeling down and out. I tell them, God made one of them for a reason, there is nobody else on this planet like you, you mean to tell me that you're going to let this person stop you from realzing the amazing person that God made you to be. And when you think of it on that level and realize how beautiful and precious you are to God, you can look at your ex without hate in your heart and accept that God was not going to let you stay with someone who did not see you the way that He sees you. There is a man/woman out there who sees us this way and they're what Madea calls the long distance man, not the seasonal man. You don't want the seasonal man, there's a ton of them out there. You've got to get the long distance man, shoot I don't even know where to look for that one, but that takes patience and time.

The final thing I have to say, time heals all wounds but God heals all hearts. There's a time and place for everything because life is too damn short to let a broken heart stop you. There is so much that you have to offer to the world, don't let one broken heart stop you from experiencing that joy that so many others could be benefiting from you. And that whole thing where they say it takes half the time of the relationship to get over the person, can I slap the person who said that. It's taken me a long time to get over mine and I'm probably about 85% there I think. He pops up in my dream if i'm thinking too hard about something. I don't want him there but he shows up but his manifestations doesn't tie me to him. Listen to your subconscious on a metaphorical level, that does a really good job of helping you get over hurts too. Now I really don't know how I'd react if I saw my ex again, I really don't know but I'm here at this point where I could offer the handshake. He never gave me any closure so I'm doing it for myself and now I look forward to the day that I get to meet Nicky Hayden, if I could marry that man, words wouldn't be able to describe the feeling. That's my piece on that. later.