I'm kinda mad right now but I'll get over it. Maybe it's cause I live in San Francisco this should be nothing new to me, but I don't know how many times I can look down the street from a block or two away and I won't see a black person in sight. It's kinda scary sometimes, that Rockwell song pops in my head, "I always feel like someone's watching me." Nah really but I'm sure that's happened. It's sad that there's not a good cultural mix of African American folks in this city, we've been dispersed outside of the city. I find it very disturbing when someone asks me where's all the black people and I get the answer, they live in Oakland. That's not a laughing matter, that's really scary when you think about it. Despite this whole task force thing that Mayor Gavin Newsom has set up to try to get us to stay. San Francisco is not a city for black people, this city only caters to you if you're Asian or White. It's like you have to fight to break down the stereotypes.
Damn just because I'm black, that stereotype is automatically there, but I'm Jamaican so I don't count. I don't like hearing the N word coming out of anybody's mouth. I'm not from San Francisco and I'm not ghetto. I like hyphy music but I don't live the lifestyle. It makes me sad too when I see all these girls with babies everywhere, don't get me wrong I love kids and all but who gives you or anyone else the right to stereotype us just because you see a sista with a kid or two on her arm. Men are men and women are women, take the race factor out of it and the generalities out. Mind I can't stand half the words that come out of some of these girls mouth but you have asian girls and latino girls and white girls that are just like that, so don't put that label on us.
Don't get me started on black men, I've never dated a black guy, I don't have anything against black guys, it's just not my preference. It's like you're never good enough if you're a black person, somewhere someone is always talking about you, wanting what you have or they don't want you to end up with nothing. Are you serious, as open-minded as we are in the 21st century, there is a lot of ignorance out there. I've never been tough enough to hang out with the black kids at school and they all talked smack about me because I was different and I didn't fit in. It's weird I'm from one of the states that dealt with the most racism, Virginia, and I've never had issues with my race until I came to San Francisco.
You're probably thinking how can that be since I"m living in one of the most liberal cities in the nation, but look around you, you'll see it. The worse is when you're a hard working black woman, with goals, morals, a good heart and you only strive to bring out the best in people. But because of my skin color, I'm inferior. WTF why can't I get a white guy that likes me for me. I'm sorry I'm not going to sashay around like these some of these Asian chicks who have nothing better to do than go with a white guy to look like their important. Every damn white dude you see around here has some Asian chick at his hip and she aint even cute. Those Asian chicks who swear up and down that they're cute, yawl aint nothing but copy cats, wannabe white girls. That's all you see in San Francisco, Asian girls jocking white dudes who don't know any better.
That's just me venting because my ex left my ass for some Asian girl and she aint even cute. Ooh I could kick him from here to Jupiter (and I'm laughing as I picture this happening.) He still hasn't fess up to it but I know and it's just funny to me now because he's so fake and I'm calling him out. Gosh those guys that put up this whole facade thinking just because he knows a little urban history, he's set. Mind you I was impressed but I figured it all out later and it's hilarious because I know who still has their integrity in tact. Thinking about some of the stuff that dude did to me, talk about psychological warfare but he's not the only hottie around. He's so ugly to me now because his personality is just dirty and wicked. But because the color of my skin wasn't good enough, I'm inferior. I didn't fit the stereotype, I have a degree, I'm actually smart with a good head on my shoulder.
I'm not racist, I'm just pissed off with this whole thing. That's the problem with interracial couples, if you're a black girl with a white dude, people turn their heads and they're like WTF, if you're white girl with a black dude, it's whatever. And the worse is if you're with a respectable guy, those same Asian girls and white girls probably talking smack right behind your back. You just can't win being a upstanding black woman in today's society. Aahh, it's so not fair but I'm sure I'll find my white guy. I'm not staying in San Francisco for long becaue this city does not cater to black folks, just walk around and observe for ten minutes and you'll what I'm talking about. Again if you get offended by this, sorry, I'm pissed off too. I just had to vent, I should be at church but I'm mad about that too.
Updated:
I'm officially not mad, the sun is shining and I had some milk and cookies, I'm straight. I'm not mad at my ex's girl, as long as he treats her good and she's happy, all the more reasons that I wish both of them the best. No I didn't have time to think about all of this so I have no regrets. I got no beefs against anyone of a different race, I like white guys, asian guys, it's not what's on the outside. It's what's on the inside. So everybody, just spread the love, we could all use a little more love.
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